Tea of the Day: Assam Melody by Adagio Teas
Description: Bold black tea from the Assam region of India. Assam tea is known for a deep, burgundy-red cup and pungent flavor. Our Assam Melody is perfect for tea drinkers who may be new to the powerful character of Assam. Rich aroma, more sweet starchy than malty, like roasted plantains. Rounded mouthfeel, malty without being overpowering. Slight notes of raisin. Brisk astringency and not extremely pungent. A solid, ‘friendly’ Assam, from the well-regarded Meleng Estate.
First thing I smell is raisin, pungent and sweet.
Liquor is a chestnut brown in the cup, dark but clear
Raisiny-malty in scent. Slightly astringent mouthfeel, and has a starchy flavor. Adding sugar smooth it out a bit, plays up the malty flavor
Tea Rating: 4/5
Revisiting a topic from last week…the only one from last week, in point of fact.
Brief recap: I spent some time being very straightforward and open about the things that get between me and feeling true belonging, and thus happiness.
It was the only thing I wrote about last week because it hit me hard, harder than I realized at first.
My reaction to it was intense, but so delayed that it took me most of the next day to really understand what was going on with me.
And so it goes when we feel vulnerable, protect and deflect, but rarely confront.
You see, what happened was subtle, but profound.
Writing about what I did,in all of the detail I did, was sharing a very personal part of my story…with strangers. Just putting it out there to be seen and read and judged or interpreted however my readers might. I am sure all of you are lovely people but most of you I will never meet face to face or speak to outside of the comments section. That’s the way of online life, and there’s nothing wrong with that, but it certainly was a different experience.
It was a good thing, to really talk about what stops me from moving forward with my life and continuing on the path of being happy. Good because naming a thing helps to get a handle on the thing. Also good because when my Mate and I run up on those things that I struggle with, it’ll be easier to talk with him about them, to ask for help, because I’ve already done the legwork.
But…there was a downside.
I felt raw and vulnerable, which would have been fine but for two things. One: I was not at home at the time, so I had to take what I was feeling and push it down (which I know from experience is a bad thing). Two: I did not address what I felt later on, when I was at home and safe, so it came out the next day, in a way that I was not prepared for.
I was angry. The majority of the following day I wanted nothing more than to yell and rage and stomp around and curse at anyone and everyone who came anywhere near me. I have enough self control that I did not, but my internal dialogue was on the poisonous side of things.
I couldn’t figure out what was going on, or why. None of the usual things worked. Not tea, not chocolate, not a good meal, or reading the latest novel I’ve been into, or taking a walk. I was just flat out pissed off.
It wasn’t until I stormed into my Mate’s flat and he looked at me with something like patient incredulity and asked me what was wrong that I confronted the issue.
At first, I didn’t know what was going on but as I talked to him I realized what was going on: I was protecting myself.
Valuable lesson learned: if for some reason I do something that makes feel vulnerable in an environment where I feel can’t be, I will react with anger to protect myself from further harm.
Not the best reaction in the world, but now that I know what happens, I can move towards being able to adjust that.
What is your protective strategy?
Is it helping you or hurting you?
“The intention and outcome of vulnerability is trust, intimacy and connection. The outcome of oversharing is distrust, disconnection – and usually a little judgment” —Brene Brown