Tea of the day: Double spice Chai by Stash Tea
Description: Zesty blend of premium black teas and fragrant spice with double the amount of clove, cinnamon, and cardamon as our regular chai spice tea for a spicier and more flavorful drink.
Smells like Christmas! very very cinnamon and clove
Smells much the same when steeped
Liquor is red-brown in the cup.
Sweet, spicy, and delicious. Warms you up from the inside out
Tea Rating: 4.5/5
Slightly less positive today; I won’t be offended if you stop reading here
Today’s topic is loneliness…just is what’s been on my mind
In my view, there are three types of loneliness: the loneliness of feeling like one’s friends are too busy, the loneliness of missing someone specific (sometimes coupled with loss/grief), and the more over-arching loneliness of feeling like there is no one who can understand what you’re going through.
The first issue tends to pass relatively quickly. This is that case because either you have real friends who will seek you out and/or make time for you or you find new friends. Or, they really were busy, and the busy time passes and you go back to your normal shenanigans
The second issue can be a bit more long lived. For example, if the person you are missing is in another city or state. I’ve also noticed that the specific loneliness from missing a specific person seems to happen a lot more with people that you’re romantic with than with friendships. I think this because you (generally) have more than one friend you like to see but only one serious romantic partner (or at least only one with the particular traits that you are missing). The other way that specific person loneliness can be long lived is if someone you are very close to dies. At that point, their positive attributes become almost holy and anyone you meet who has similar qualities only emphasizes to you that this person is no longer around. This is part of the grieving process and fades with time (I hope.)
The third type of loneliness is a strange one to me. I have felt it myself; there was a period of several years where my only friend was my father so anytime I got myself in trouble at home during that time I felt like I literally didn’t have a single friend in the world. Eventually I made some friends, but I have never forgotten the feeling of being utterly alone and it makes me value the close friendships I have a great deal. But even though I went through a stage of that kind of loneliness I still find it hard to understand. Particularly in this day and age, with the internet bringing far-flung people virtually together, there has to be at least one person who can understand your plight and help you out.
But that brings me to another question: how do you go about finding someone who is like you but not you without feeling like you’ve made yourself too vulnerable or desperate?