Vanilla Creme

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Today’s tea: Vanilla Creme by Stash Tea

Description: Madagascar and Tahitian vanilla beans are combined with premium black teas for a rich, smooth and sweet tea. Made with blended black teas, vanilla bean, and natural flavors of vanilla and nutcreme

The dry leaves have a sweet and nutty smell, making me think of cookie dough as it is baking.

The liquor itself have a very nutty smell and is a rich mahogany brown in the cup. As I drink and smell the tea I keep feeling like this tea should be a cookie…a vanilla-y nutty cookie. I also think it would taste great with a dash of milk or cream and sweetened with brown sugar. Definitely going to be getting more of this tea.

Tea rating: 4/5

Today I have thought a lot about perception.

How I perceive the world. How I think people perceive me. I often find that my view of myself is very different from the face I present to the world. I don’t mean I’m not genuine; I mean that I expect that my quirks are more annoying or more strange to others than they actually are. And I am often surprised by the gratitude extended to me for doing the kinds of things I just expect a decent human being to do.

I have also from time to time been unexpectedly perceived as aggressive or hostile when I am simply (to me) being decisive and assertive. My regional HR manager described it to me in a way that didn’t occur to me, but something that is true when I think about it: I am young and confident and that kind of confidence can be seen as aggression…particularly if the person I am interacting with is not as confident as I appear to be.

The was I see myself, though still likely harsher than it should be, has vastly improved over recent months. I’m happy with myself as I am when I’m alone, and confident that I have what it takes to do anything and everything I want. This change has come about in a much longer time than just this summer, in little bits here and there. But, up until the point in July that  I confronted the fear that was holding me back, most of the change wasn’t something that showed. Now it does, and for the first time in my life, I’m getting feedback without asking for it. Apparently changing my perception of myself has a bigger impact on what goes on around me than I ever would have thought.

Lesson learned: self perception is just as important as how others see you

“As the message drained away Vimes stared at the opposite wall, in which the door now opened, after a cursory knock, to reveal the steward bearing that which is guaranteed to frighten away all nightmares, to wit, a cup of hot tea.*
* The sound of the gentle rattle of china cup on china saucer drives away all demons, a little-known fact.”
Terry Pratchett, Snuff

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